I know. I haven’t been posting. I want to say why and also… it would be too much. There have been big medical things going on in the family. A parent was in the hospital for 29 days, and I was in the hospital a few days during that time, too. Then, we were both home. I had to go back to the ER, but then was sent home. That parent was home for one week, then needed the ER, and has been in the hospital… again… for another ten days and counting. Like I said… a LOT going on.

I knitted a bazillion baby hats and sent them to California to a group who’s sending them to a certain charity. They’re being tagged and packaged and sent along to people in need. It keeps me going to contribute to things like this, even in small ways.

Today, I had a doctor appointment. Some things are so messed up they will never be right. I’ve got new things going on, in addition to things that have always been an issue. I’m starting some new medicine for my migraines, which is a good thing. I’ve started something new to calm my stomach down, which is also good. I’ve been on it, but needed the doctor to agree to keep me on it. Best part is the insurance makes it a no-brainer, as far as affording all of it. Without that, I couldn’t be on any medication, it would be beyond my reach. So… thanks for stars to align for all of that.

I’ve been writing, but not well… my focus is nil, my mind is cluttered and stressed to the max. I’ve been crying and numb and just spinning my wheels, in general. I need something to improve. I need a few things to get better for my own personal health and life situations. I need the parent in the hospital to truly improve. I need other family to chill and/or help out more in the ways they’re able. Easier said than done on all of it. I can’t relax, I can’t sleep, my eating is all out of whack. My bestie is a star. She’s been holding my hand through it all, from afar. And, there’s a guy…

He seems amazing. But, right now he is sick, too. I am trying to hold it all together and support him and do what I can… from where I am. He works hard and ALL the time. I made him promise to take a few days off to get over this sickness. He said he would. I hope he’s resting now, as he is supposed to be.  😉

I’ll try to post more. I forget to let it all out here, I forget to take more time to try and focus my thoughts.

I have still been doing the bullet journal thing. I changed from an LT to a TN, though. I like it so much more for my current needs. I like the chunkiness of it, and the pages are thick and creamy, much nicer for my writing than the flimsy see-through LT ones. I had no idea what I was doing when I started. I’m learning. I don’t get as funky and artsy in the spreads and trackers as other people do. I’m keeping it basic. Some washi or stickers when I need them to break up sections or add a little personality, but that’s about it. Lots of lists, boxes, random notes about what happens on what day. It’s working for me, so far.

I knitted yesterday for the first time in a few weeks. I frogged it all today, but I’ll start over again in a day or two. I need the motion of knitting, but right now I can’t deal with actual patterns. It’s the therapy aspect of it, so when it becomes stressful I drop it until I can just breathe into it again.

More soon.