I’ve been writing again. Not the quantity or overall quality I’ve achieved in the past, but anything is progress, at this point. Thanks to some prompts in a new writing group I’ve joined, my creative energy is flowing again. It may be trickling compared to gushing. Again, I’m not complaining at having any form of words emit from my brain. Things have been so stressful and exhausting, I’d started to worry I may never get back to the stories I continue to stare at and peck at on my WIP pile. I’ve made snail-paced progress on one of those. No rush. A step forward is better than standing still, and much better than slipping backwards.

Knitting has been difficult. I cranked out a plethora of baby hats for a few months. I sent them off to their destination and felt good about it. I wish I could have done more, and next time I can, I will add to that pile to donate. I have a list of gift knitting I need to do and want to do… I started a knit-a-long last week. I helped choose the pattern, which has an element I had not done before. Something that requires a skill I should be able to do. It is meant to be FUN and SIMPLE. Well… not so much. I have started and stopped, ripped back and ripped completely back to the beginning… several times. More than ten. I can’t get past row 5. FIVE! I need to get past row 6 to get though the first set of “new” design elements. That’s the problem. I am not giving up, yet. But, it’s not looking good right now. I even went to my local yarn shop (LYS), the one of the two that’s located closer, the one that the owner isn’t always very nice toward me (maybe not toward anyone? I have no idea)… I bought a different type of stitch marker and a little notions bag with butterflies, a ladybug, and a bicycle on it. It looks happy. I needed that in the middle of feeling quite miserable about this project I’m failing at.

Friday afternoon I got a haircut. It was the first time I’d had even a trim in over six years. I never feel like I deserve that kind of thing, but it was a nice treat to have the lady wash it and, though I hate trying to describe what I think will look okay (and almost always it turns out looking awful)- I have to say she did a nice job. She took about 14″ off the back, and it still landed at right around shoulder-length when finished. Since it’s naturally curly, she dried it and didn’t charge extra for it, to make sure we didn’t need more taken off and that I was happy with it. I think it ended up at a good length, and it’s just right for now. Of course, it will need to get done in about 2-3 months at the most, otherwise it will be too much hassle to go through trying to describe it to probably a different stylist the next time. As long as I continue to go in now, splurging not too much but it just seems like any is too much these days… it was needed… and I need to keep telling myself it’s okay… especially when it’s less than $20 every few months. Again, it all feels excessive, the way life has been this past year or more.

I went to knitting at the library on Friday, as well. I worked on the project that’s not going well. I started it fresh, I made it to row 5, I screwed up, and it’s in my bag in a ball again. I’m so frustrated!