Things have been kind of dark around here this holiday season. The day before Thanksgiving is when it became real that Mom might die, and we felt that was imminent. Ever since, we’ve been up and down, up and down… not wanting to get overly hopeful about how long she might stay alive, preparing for the worst in some ways. Obituary is drafted, burial plot is ready, funeral homes in our current and home states are ready… when the time comes.
I wanted to put the tree up, but Dad did not. He’s always been a bit of a Grinch, as long as I can remember, anyway. He had said he wasn’t going to bring all that “crap” up from the basement just to turn around and put it away a few weeks later… And, everything has felt strange and dark. I love Christmas, but this past five weeks have been full of doubt, fear, darkness… Today, a small tree arrived via UPS. Thanks to one of my sisters, who lives in Florida. It is less than two feet tall, and it is quite lopsided, until it relaxes a bit. It smells good… it’s a conica spruce. One of the cats has adopted it as her own, already. After a day or two, I’ll throw the included decorations on it and call it good… it’s more than we’d planned to do this year. I’m allergic to real trees, actually. BUT, I don’t even care. I took some Benadryl and I smiled.
Mom called me tonight, which was a nice surprise. I told her about the tree and sent her a few pics thanks to a smartphone making that simple. Maybe Christmas 2018 won’t be the darkest, ever.
Thanks, “Patsy Cline.” xo