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Charlotte K Stewart

Writer, Reader, Knitter, Artist

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home life

My Mom is Dying

I’m having a hard time. This has been the worst Thanksgiving of my life.

Three of my sisters arrived today. Two drove from Florida with my 4-month-old nephew, the youngest sister flew in from North Dakota. There is too much to put here. My head and my heart can’t take what’s going on.

She’s ready to go, in a way. She’s 67. It seems so young. I’m not ready for my mom to leave. I still need her. I wish I could write more but I just can’t. Not yet.

I need prayers, good thoughts, superhuman energy and fortitude not just through her passing, but for the next several months. Losing her means Dad and I will need to move, which sounds okay.

It’s not. Because I need a new knee. Because I have extreme medical care of my own, and can’t lose the crummy excuse for insurance and yucky doctors I need to see regularly to keep existing, myself… I can be of little use to him with cleaning out the house, selling it, etc.

Please I need rest and focus and better health and… I need my mom to be okay but she’s not going to be.

Here’s a pic of the flowers my sisters sent before they knew they’d be coming to town:

Yarn Day & NASCAR

Some would say NASCAR and yarn are a weird combination. That might be true. However, for me it’s a fairly usual blend of two of my favorite things. I dig racing a LOT. And, I’m a knitter. October 13th is Yarn Day, and I’d had every intention of setting aside a good hour or so to work on a project I have underway. I had thought I might also happen to knit while watching a NASCAR truck race… no, that did not come to pass. I watched the race, but continued to get interrupted by various real life matters. And, after the race, I thought THIS IS IT, MY TIME TO SIT AND KNIT! Guess what – nope, no knitting. Zero.

It was not the calm, relaxing, soul-filling day or hour I needed badly, not just because it was yarn day…. for so many reasons. I actually did not do a thing I wanted to do in a way I wanted to, all day… yes, the race was on. And, the driver/crew chief team I’ve been rooting for will survive to the next round of the playoffs (the #16, if you’re wondering). I chatted with my bestie off and on most of the afternoon and some of tonight, as we could. We talk most every day, even if it’s “I’m sick, talk to you tomorrow.” It’s the best friendship I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve been blessed to have some awesome ones. Anyway… I need some self care and some quiet, relaxing time. I don’t know when or how I’ll have that, because life has been too hectic, too unpredictable, too out of anyone’s control… everyone needs SOME down time. I will get back to posting on here more regularly, too. I’m working on it.

 

The Cleanup After the Storm

I have family members who survived Hurricane Matthew. They did sustain some damage around their yards, a large tree came down, and at least one of the homes needs minor repairs. The most important thing is that all humans are alive and intact, as are the pets. Everyone is working on cleanup, and getting back into their daily routine. It will take a few days or weeks, but they are thankful to have survived the worse hurricane to hit the southeastern US in over a decade. I’m glad they’re okay, too. It’s nice they are all positive and hopeful. They help others out, as well, normally. That spirit of helping their neighbors, along with their communities, is part of how we were all raised. I’m not surprised when I hear in their tone that same sense of cooperation and willingness to come to the aid of people close to them in need.

I have not written yet today. That’s next on my list. I’ll read before I go to sleep. I still have the migraine. Could it please go away???

I watched NASCAR races and ran an errand this evening. We had one day of no A/C before someone turned the heat on. It’s too early for the heat, in my opinion, but it wasn’t my decision.

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