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Charlotte K Stewart

Writer, Reader, Knitter, Artist

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knitting

Yarn Day & NASCAR

Some would say NASCAR and yarn are a weird combination. That might be true. However, for me it’s a fairly usual blend of two of my favorite things. I dig racing a LOT. And, I’m a knitter. October 13th is Yarn Day, and I’d had every intention of setting aside a good hour or so to work on a project I have underway. I had thought I might also happen to knit while watching a NASCAR truck race… no, that did not come to pass. I watched the race, but continued to get interrupted by various real life matters. And, after the race, I thought THIS IS IT, MY TIME TO SIT AND KNIT! Guess what – nope, no knitting. Zero.

It was not the calm, relaxing, soul-filling day or hour I needed badly, not just because it was yarn day…. for so many reasons. I actually did not do a thing I wanted to do in a way I wanted to, all day… yes, the race was on. And, the driver/crew chief team I’ve been rooting for will survive to the next round of the playoffs (the #16, if you’re wondering). I chatted with my bestie off and on most of the afternoon and some of tonight, as we could. We talk most every day, even if it’s “I’m sick, talk to you tomorrow.” It’s the best friendship I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve been blessed to have some awesome ones. Anyway… I need some self care and some quiet, relaxing time. I don’t know when or how I’ll have that, because life has been too hectic, too unpredictable, too out of anyone’s control… everyone needs SOME down time. I will get back to posting on here more regularly, too. I’m working on it.

 

I’m Sick

I have bronchitis. It’s never any fun, but it’s especially not pleasant this time of year. I have so many things I need to get done and want to do that being sick on top of my chronic conditions really drags me down. I am not on antibiotics, which I’m glad about for many reasons. We’re hoping a few types of inhalers, combined with the little round “perles” and over the counter cough syrup will help me enough until I can get the rest of the buggies out of my system. If I’m not much better in about two weeks, I’ll get checked again. And, my stomach had to start acting up on top of it all. I have so many problems, on any given day. I’d love a day or a week when it’s “only” my usual with nothing extra tacked on.

Writing has been hit-or-miss. I was on a roll with a new story for a few days. I had no energy to add to it for the past few. I’ve been working on it today, as I felt up to it. I would like to get anything near completed this year… so far, that’s not happening. I have had zero energy to knit at all. Tomorrow is knitting group at the library, which I missed last month due to illness and too much pain in my knee (because of where I need to get to inside the building, after how far I need to get from the car to the front door is pure hell on my bad knee)… I want to go so badly. There is a conflict of transportation, on top of the illness and injury matters. I’m bummed and I need to talk to the girl who runs it about another way to try to get this to happen, or about changing the location inside the building, maybe.

 

 

Can things get ANY worse? Yes.

Never even think the question to yourself, because breathing life to the thought brings it into existence. Though I’ve heard it before, it continues to happen. No sooner are things so bad they feel almost impossible, then something even harder and more impossible comes up. It keeps happening, unstoppably.

My cough has finally ceased, for the first time since the last week of November. But, several bad things have happened since Christmas. A few are not getting better. Some of them are only deteriorating, and I’m not sure how to push through it all.

I keep knitting when I’m up to it, writing when I can focus my brain for thirty minute chunks, and generally sleeping or worrying the rest of the time.

I’m trying so hard to be positive, but it is harder to do that than ever.

 

 

Are you on Ravelry?

I joined the day after my birthday, several years ago, when you still had to request a membership. I think it was still in a “beta” phase, though it already seemed large and hopping by the time I was extended a join code.

When I get too overwhelmed by life or other things, I peruse patterns. I look at lovely yarns and the delicious feast of colors and textures others have chosen. I admire the skill and time they have put into projects that seem too complicated for me to even attempt.

It seems I go through phases. I’ll have a phase of wanting to get super-organized. I’ll add a needle or two from my supplies, or click on the button to mark patterns I hope to try. Occasionally, I’ll stash some yarn or post a project I started. I am not great about getting it all on there, from beginning to end. The library of actual books that I added is mostly lost in boxes from a move I made over five years ago, and I’m bitter about that entire thing. I want my hands on my resources, especially now that I’m knitting again after a multi-year hiatus for medical reasons.

I have newer things to add to my “notebook” on the site; I want to make that a goal for this year. I actually want my needles, yarns and books that are ON my real bookshelf… listed on Ravelry. I want to post projects from cast on to bind off, with some photographic evidence of my time and efforts. I am going to work on this, BIG TIME, in the upcoming weeks.

Groups and forums are another animal, completely. I’ve joined and left several, over the years. I’m active in one or two, again sort of in phases. Currently, there are a few who message or write from time to time. It’s nice to have a little sense of connectivity within the largeness of the overall site (it’s HUGE).

 

Sickness and Pain Suck the Life From Me

I barely have the energy to type this, let alone come up with a title for my post. I’ve been sick since just after Thanksgiving, in addition to my chronic and on-going conditions. Add to that a toothache/infection, tummy issues from medicine, and a migraine. I’m beat, I’m exhausted, and I’m miserable.

When I feel so down and have so much pain going on that I annoy myself, the last thing I want to do is vent or burden anyone I care about, least of all my best friend. We talk almost every single day, and I love her for being there for me. And, it’s important to me, to be there for her in return. I feel I’ve been extra moody and needy lately, and that, as a result, perhaps I haven’t been the support she needs or would like to have, at least some of the time. I hope I can get better soon, partly so I can hold up my end of the friendship.

Knitting is something that helps me get through things. I have been doing more of it again, the past several months. I signed up for a little class, which is my first time doing such a thing. I want to write a story about that, but the gist is that it’s the teacher/shop owner, five other women, and me knitting in a yarn store for a few hours for two Fridays. I learned a few things in my first class session. I am much more the listener and observer, not the sharer. I learned how to make a button hole, which is difficult for me with extra-limited use of my left hand. I know how to make cables in my knitting, which is not as complex as it seems. I hate chaos and noise, especially when I need to count and keep track of stitches and rows while learning new skills. I enjoyed the class, and actually learning some new things that will be useful in future projects. I hope I’m healthy enough to get to the second class.

I have been writing daily, for the most part, but this week I’ve deleted more than I’ve kept. My main WIP became two WIPs in the last month, and I have a new writing buddy/accountability partner with whom I’ve been corresponding. We are learning how to support each other, and what works as far as what we share, or how to share without risking offending each other (I think?); it’s a process.

I Hate Being Sick

My post’s title says it all, for today and in general. I’m a bit too sick to write anything here, actually.

Many thoughts are swirling around my head, and I want to get them out before I pass out again.
Tomorrow, I hope I finish the chapter I’d wanted to get done today. And, I have a project that I want to honor with its own post. Not tonight.

I’m going to curl up with some knitting and a Lifetime movie, and I’ll do better tomorrow.

Rough Day, All Around

My day was not my usual kind of Sunday, for several reasons. Sometimes, things come up and bite you, and it throws the day off kilter. That happened to me today.

I have a few appointments this week. One tomorrow, another on Tuesday, and another on Thursday. I have a list as long as my (fairly short) arm of things I must do this week. Most are things I deplore and am not looking forward to, in the slightest. On the weekends, and mainly on Sundays, I watch NASCAR Cup series racing. I also, almost always, listen to my favorite driver’s team radio feed. Add that to my list of today’s unpleasantness: the feed would not work for me today. Insert my loud grumbles here.  To put it mildly, I was not a happy camper, and it was barely the early afternoon.

Due to all of this, I knew should be doing so many other things, things screaming for attention, things on the bottom of my list of Likes. So, what did I actually do? I hid in my bedroom, away from The Others. I grabbed a snack and a fresh Diet Coke, set up my nest of pillows and my knitting pile, plugged in my phone so I could chat with my best friend the way we always do on race days, and I turned on NASCAR. Deep breath. I felt better, for a while.

I started what I had hoped would be a quick knitted gift for one of my nieces, so it could be delivered to her home by next weekend for her birthday later in the month. I started, made it through 30 rows, noticed big mistakes, frogged the whole thing and started again, new pattern. I started, and worked on it for the duration of the race, doing a row and checking in with my friend, while watching and listening to the race…

The race did not go our way. It wasn’t the worst, but it wasn’t as good as it needed to be for my driver. It will be okay. He is fine. He was not injured, never had a wreck today or anything like that. For that, I am always genuinely thankful. I just wanted so badly for him to be in the running for the championship. It’s not meant to be, and I can accept it. I have more thoughts and feelings on those matters, which I will save until I process them a bit longer.

After the race, during the post-race interviews, I realized I had made a few large errors in the item. UGH!!! Not happy. Very upset at myself, actually. It took me a few hours to get the thing 6 inches long, give or take. It’s going to be a scarf, maybe also a matching hat. Right now, it’s a pink ball again. I frogged attempt number two.

My flu shot site has blown up. It’s swollen and irritated, so I’ll have the doctor check it out tomorrow. Another tick in the column of things that sucked today!

I have not done my formal writing or reading for today, yet. I just spent twenty minutes writing this blog post, though, so I call that a win. I will spend some time after I post this adding to my main WIP writing project, another ten or twenty on the 30 Days Ninja Writing project, and before bed, I will read.

I need this week to go smoothly, and for tomorrow to just be a little bit better than today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flu Shots and Writing, with a Chance of Rain

When it’s dark and rainy outside first thing in the morning, I don’t want to go anywhere if it can be avoided. Least of all, when it’s for unpleasant things such as shots or medical appointments. Today was like this, which made me feel grumpy before I ever got out of bed. I could hear the rain on the roof, and my room was dark. I knew before pulling back a curtain to look that the outside world was dreary and uninviting. One of the first gloomy fall days in the area, as opposed to the pretty golden ones where you actually want to be out in the cool, comfortable air.

In fact, I curled up under my comforter and watched NASCAR practice before I decided if I would get in gear at all. I procrastinated as long as possible. Finally, I took a deep breath, pulled myself together, and made myself talk to the family member with whom I needed to run around town for a few hours.

We went to Walgreens first, to get our flu shots out of the way. The heat was on in the store, which made the store too freaking hot! It’s mid-60 range outside, which, for me, is JUST RIGHT. We were sweating inside the store, without our jackets or sweatshirts on. I had short sleeves, to make getting the shot a little easier. And, after waiting for almost an hour, actually getting the shot was the easiest (and nearly painless) part. We signed our forms, had our shots, and bought a few small items to prevent having to stop at another store. Next, the post office. We mailed off a few things, which was quick and painless. And, I had some materials to return to the public library. I borrowed two new audio books. I find they are fun to listen to while I knit, since it leaves my hands free for working my yarn project.

We picked up lunch, returned home and I survived the dark, mostly miserable, morning.

I get to relax at home for a bit longer before we head back out. We plan to go out later this evening to sit at Panera and write.

Good thing is, the rain has subsided here for now, and sun is breaking through the black clouds.

 

 

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