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Charlotte K Stewart

Writer, Reader, Knitter, Artist

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relationships

Exhaustion

That one word sums up my day, my week, my life…

The guy is history. He moved on. I lowered the boom and brought up concerns I had. He insisted, again, we could discuss and be rational (I think trying to convince himself, as I remained calm throughout)… then, he alerts me through social media notifications he has committed to some other female. Blink, blink. Yep. I’m still shaking my head. However, I don’t need to waste another moment wondering what his deal is. He moved on, he showed his true colors for sure, and I’m all right. Does it hurt? YES. It sucks when someone proclaims to be interested and says they want to be with you and spend time together and plan some kind of future with you, only to find out it was all a game and non-stop lies. I will guard my heart in its locked little box, let the gashes heal a bit, then I will keep going on with my life. I didn’t need him before, I certainly don’t need him anymore… no big loss at this point.

I did manage some writing the past few days. I doubled what had been a super-short story from five pages into about 10.5 pages. I changed it around slightly. I will find out tomorrow what others think of it in my workshop group. Feedback is helpful. I always learn something about myself, my writing, and how others view fiction. I’m too exhausted to write more on this post right now. I am trying to make more entries, but I also have a massive to-do list tomorrow. Meaning, I need to find a way to relax for a bit and unwind. I haven’t been knitting much. I will read, maybe listen to some music, then I’ll crash.

Till next time.

Pants Should Be On Fire

I mentioned a guy a while back. We started talking in February. We began talking online, as that is how most of my socialization occurs nowadays, not just due to technology, but because of my life situation. He wanted to be considered a couple in March. I was hesitant. He talked about coming to meet me in person. And, I would never, have never… expected to even get into a relationship again. Let alone be a real couple who is dating or together. Certainly not married. Yes, he did go there. He brought it up, saying I was his future Mrs. W. Insert gasps and eye rolls here.  There is a lot to the past few months, from his life and mine, but I’ll keep it brief. He lied, lied, and lied some more. He is single. His photos and his voice are legit, from everything I could figure out. I’m rather good at investigation. And, he was not a liar about his situation or his appearance. But, he is a serial dater and serial liar, about silly nonsensical things. Things that most people wouldn’t feel a need to lie about, such as what color shirt he chose today. He might be wearing red but say blue. Why? NO REASON! I will end this now by saying, I brought this up to him and we tried having a calm, adult conversation about it. It’s the third time we have tried… that I have tried. He claims to love me. I thought we had a connection, but I can’t be close to someone, or allow someone into my life, when they are not trustworthy. He destroyed the shred of trust we were forming. He broke that. I am letting him go because, though it sucks to end something that may have had a chance to grow into something… chances are, the way it was going, it was never going to be real or healthy. I have been alone so long, I’m used to it. I would like more, in some ways, but I don’t need someone like him in my life. Adios, Pinocchio.

 

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